Has anyone seen my motivation?

I have honestly been looking for it everywhere.

I'm trying to force myself to blog about things other than me losing weight, but it's what I've been obsessed with. I've weighed myself WAY too many times and I know it's good that I'm seeing the signs of myself tripping up and ending up sick again, but I still need to take positive steps towards doing this right.

So I'm gonna type this one last thing then we're moving on with this post:
I bought new pants at Target for an interview last week... I've doubled them as my work slacks. Yesterday I went to shower and unbuttoned my pants and they literally just fell off. I don't even have to unbutton them to get them off my body. S-U-C-C-E-S-S.

I just wish I had the same anxiety filled motivation that I used to have without the anxiety. Now I sit here and just watch tv shows and then wait to go to work. I'll clean and stuff but I don't have the sense of urgency I used to have. I'm going to go ahead and blame it on the part of me that wants to take care of everyone and be seen as a good partner. I need to fix that. It was killing me.

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This is what my bathroom currently looks like. Anyone who knows me should be shocked as hell right now. That whole black crate? Make up. And I have face wash! And Sephora products! (Thanks to a little angel named Bergundy that had a gift card she was never going to use)

I got to see Robin for 4.5 seconds last week (I plan on seeing her for longer this week! A trip to my college town is way over due) and we ended up getting me new foundation and then some face wash from Dillard's (because free things were involved) and I spent WAY too much money, but on the plus size, I'll have smaller pores!

I've also been working more nights so my mornings have been filled with beagle snuggles. She's a frustrating little booger and definitely ate like 1/4 a bag of sugar when I went to work the other day, but I love her. She's made nights suck a little less for me and she's been helping me get my exercise in. She's kind of a couch potato but she definitely will run for a least a second if I take the lead! 

I'm praying when I go down to Warrensburg this weekend that it's warm! I'd love to run with Robin (and probably die because she's faster than me and I'm generally embarrassed to do workout things with her, but I'll take one for the team. I need a run). I can't really do much other than run around my building here... I live next to a highway.

And my new favorite picture of all time featuring one of my bests and my dog. They've bonded weirdly and whenever he leaves, Belle gets all up in arms and it's precious.