Yikes.

Body positivity is something I've always advocated. But it's easier for me to feel that way about other people than for myself. With clothes on I've never really thought I've looked that bad. But the minute I look at my tiger stripes on my tummy or flash my ass by a mirror I wanna die. I've come a long way, and you can see that line of weird ab under fat I've got, but I don't know. My biggest struggle is going to always be me being a picky eater. I'm trying to become better at snacking, I'm getting my ass up and doing something 3-4x a week. It's a start.

 I've also decided I'm going to switch my gym membership. No more Planet Fitness. For $15 more I can have access to more clubs, a pool, and classes! Like zumba and some other things that I've always wanted to try. I avoided it because of money for a while, but I think I can manage only a few dollars more. For those days I just won't do Insanity (mostly because my boyfriend is home and I get embarrassed, true story).

Everyone has to start somewhere, right? And this picture probably isn't fair, I've been kicking my own ass for two weeks now. There's some minor changes but my biggest concentration is going to be my flabby tummy.

In the meantime, here's my mini trainer. I did push ups and she gave me kisses every time I was on the way down. Also take the term push ups extremely lightly here. It's the one thing I've never been able to really do effectively.

It's hard being someone who was always super thin (not from anything safe) but then ballooning up and not knowing how to "fix"it. I even for about two seconds thought about a Keto diet but knowing I could experience flu like symptoms meant a no go. Juicing I've seen the sickly effects of. I've just got to stick on this weight watchers track, but man is it tough.

But here goes nothin'!

Well doggone

So, fun fact, I volunteer at an animal shelter. An amazing, wonderful, caring animal shelter by the name of Great Plains SPCA. A week ago, I adopted a dog named Anya who was a puppy mill dog. She was terrified of everyone and everything and unfortunately a day later ran away and we've yet to run into her.

My wonderful friend and fellow blogger Lauren went and reported her missing to one shelter, I took care of the other local ones and posted her picture in a few lost dog facebook pages, but no luck. I went the other day in order to take some pictures of some dogs without photos yet and the cats that were in intake, and I somehow left with a friend of Anya's.

We're supposed to take her out to help us find Anya, but we've had no luck thus far. However, Belinda the Beagle is a wonderful dog and she has taken to us very quickly. She's housebroken, but she's very anxious and doesn't like being left at home alone.

Tell me this wouldn't make your day. If Anya shows, I suppose I have two dogs and Belinda can help socialize the other! I'm still not holding my breath. I don't think that a dog that doesn't want to be found... will be found. 

I also got to take pictures of the cutest sweetest kittens!

They had just gotten fixed and the anesthesia was wearing off. Excuse their looks of complete discontent. Soon though they'll be able to be adopted and I'm so excited! The shelter lets families donate money towards naming the animals which I think is the absolute cutest.  

The opportunity there is immense and it fills my heart with so much joy getting to spend time with these animals. And if you have wanted to see the cutest picture ever, here it goes.

Anxiety's a bitch!

No need to get down into the 5 million roots of my deep... rooted anxiety. You just need to know that I have it. And it sucks. & I just realized my last refill for my Xanax should have been filled before December of last year.

So tonight after deciding to give zero amount of cares about the silence that has permeated my apartment, I went to the gym. After being yelled at at work, getting a hysterical phone call from my mother, realizing my house was foodless for the fourth day in a row, I was done. 

There was also a half assed news update (which should be TOTALLY against some sort of policy somewhere) where they said that a local school district had been locked down due to a shooting. Just so happens it's where all three of my siblings attend. Now no one will answer their phones, I'm hysterical. It was just... a day.

Regardless the motivation! I went!

I decided to get my ass up, I needed to start some sort of routine. So, I started back up my Couch to 5k. It's what got me in gear a year ago when I lost that crucial first 15 pounds, it's what I'll use now. Accompanied by some weights and the occasional bout of Insanity/Jillian Michaels.

So, today I ran 2.02 miles in 35:00. Super slow, but considering how I was doing the run/walk spree with a jog afterwards, I'm great. 

Leg Press: 100 pounds 3 sets of 12

Hip Abduction: 50 pounds 3 sets of 12
Hip Adduction: 80 pounds 3 sets of 12

And after that I still didn't really want to go home so I busted out another quick mile on the elliptical.

And I filed my taxes and I got in my boyfriend's second Valentine's Day present today.

Game of Thrones rings! I bought them in this etsy shop and I am so happy with the outcome. They're generally flexible so you can adapt them to your size even if you're off by a bit.

&  In case this is totally foreign to you, there's these two precious pet names for this man named Drogo and his Khaleesi. They call each other "my sun and stars" and "moon of my life". 

Here's to hoping for a grocery store trip tomorrow!

Holy Workout Batman!

Okay, first of all I moved my blog from Wordpress to here because of imaginary peer pressure in my head. So pretend like I did an introduction post and blah blah blah.

First off, it's Wednesday so I did weigh in and I'll try to glance past the fact that in the past three weeks I've actually gained 4 pounds and I'm sitting pretty at 205 right now. Just when I was almost successfully out of the 200 club, I lost my dog, I went out of town where no one cooked and I had two margarita pitchers to myself, & I did not set foot on a treadmill.

Like, look at this

Basically, I made a shit ton of poor choices and I'm kicking myself for it now. At least my plate was 95% broccoli?

So this morning, I took the last can of chicken soup (2 points I believe? I don't have my phone near me.) and for lunch I had some cheese fries, but then I worked my ASS off at Title Boxing Club. Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm trying to decide whether or not it's something I want to keep doing. My boyfriend is 110% set on it, but it's another $50 a month and when I'm looking at finances, I don't know if it's a good choice. I can just ramp up on exercising at home and I'm still paying for a Planet Fitness membership that I sometimes use.

Regardless, now that I'm home I've switched gears and even though Im probably going to bed sweaty, I'm about to tear into some pasta with some olive oil and parmesan!

Next week, I'm going to have a better result. Bet your bottom dollar.